Your a fucking little punk.

I'm sick of hearing you whine and cry about everything that happens in your life like its not your fault.

These things happen because YOU cause them to. You have no compassion for anyone or anything but yourself - your a selfish fool.

You let stupid events get under your skin and blow them out of proportion. YOU, are the reason all your friends are "lieing"- "dicking you over". Did you ever stop to think that maybe they didnt want to leave, maybe they wanted to be your friend, maybe the valued your friendship? As small and seamless as it may have seemed.

None of us will ever feel like you do now, because we are all above this childish behavior you seem to be accustomed to. We will go on living our lives, forgiving, understanding. While you remain a lonley prick who only cares about himself, and whatever two legs your in between.

Maybe everyone is getting sick of you. Maybe your time in "Paradise" is running out.

Grow The Fuck Up.

Before you lose it all.

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up) 
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

                                                  I am Sorry...     

   It was nothing short of perfection.

I had the best time ever. Its such a shame it was only for 3 days.

Crusin' the streets, seeing old faces - along with new ones. Parties, chillin wit my boys.

It was so much fun, I saw so many of my friends. Funny thing, everyone recognized me, I didn't think half of them would, but they did.

I didn't want to leave, I didn't have enough time, I couldn't take it all in, I miss it already, and more than ever.

Thanx, to all of you for everything. Making me feel like I still belong there - Making me feel like its still Home.   

I truley had the time of my life, I'm going to go back as soon as I can. I got somewhere to stay. I'm coming back - No, not forever, but you'll being seeing alot more of me, no more of this 1 week bull shit. It's my home, no other place makes me feel so... complete.

                                                                      Like a Carousel.   

  This Summer is slowly coming to a close.

   Slowly but surly it will soon end and this layed back- stress free life I have been living for the past 2 months will end, and revert back to the same daily routine day in and day out.

  The good thing is, I'm not one bit dissapointed.

It's been a great Summer, so many things have happened, changed, and started.

My first legal Summer was quite interesting, a second job, a road trip to georgia.

But most important, the parties, lack of sleep, and lack of that god awful stress.

It was a very productive summer as well. Finally got into a stable relationship, made so many new friends - great friends. Although, bythe looks of things - I believe I lost a very good one as well. Things come and go I guess, its life isnt it?

I didnt accomplish half of the things I wanted to this summer, but I did accomplish so many things I thought I wasn't capable of doing. So like I said, it was a very productive summer.

Now as I end my Summer with a bang, I leave for New York in 27 hours and I just can't wait.  I hope that I can get rid of this weight I feel bearing over me, that I have acumilated because of a variaty of events, and leave it all up there and come back refreshed and ready to battle on.

  I realize now, this shit fucked with my head really bad man. I'm fucking lost. Hopefully things will be better when I get back...

Last Update...

                                                             Till I'm me again...    

You didn't see them here.

playing an imaginary game,

on an imaginary field,

for an imaginary team.

Fielding imaginary hits,

from imaginary batters,

to the thrill of imaginary crwods.

Knowing that one day the team,

and the crowd,

and the game would all be real.

That day has arrived

But you can see them here.

There is no snow today.

There is no rain today.

The only thing on my mind today is sunshine,

And I'm having trouble faking this smile.

When I found out, I broke down bad.

Confused.

Is it selfish of me to grieve?

Crying for someone I don't know.

Confused.

I want to go home now.

I've been out here for too long.

I want to hold my son,

And teach him that it's human to feel sorrow.

Even when it's not your sorrow.

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH*GASP*HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I Ryan Winkler, just bought a ONE-WAY ticket to the greatest city in the world.

Thats right kids, ready the kegs, call the boys, I'm going to New York, I am going home.

Last few days have been pretty good.

The other night I saw "Anchorman".

It was funny as hell, Will Farell was hysterical. He is a great actor, and an even better comedian. 

I was up all last night and went into work to day at 5am, yea I know I am crazy, stayed until 700, then came home and slept till 11.

Woke up and talked to a few people, and made a descion. My father is driving up in a few days, and then driving back one the 23rd, so, I bout a one way for the 21st, Ill chill for a few days then come home, I cant miss too much work, and dont have too much money, so this is perfect.

Ill rent a car when I get up there so I can see everyone.

God I can't wait, I need this sooo bad, oh its going to be great.

See you soon guys.

Fun day, well atleast my vaca- went out with a bang.

Tomorrow its back to hell... Excuse me I mean work.

The tournement was alot of fun. I came in second because of a technicality, but its all good. I got to watch Matt, Dann, and Ross duke it out. It was quiet entertaining.

Im in such a hole. Thats the only thing thats bothering me right now. I wanted to get my car hooked up by the end of the summer, and as it it quickley drawing to a close, I have not done one thing to it. Accept my head light covers. Ugh, I need to go and get my loan and credit card, now, so I can start, hey better late than never right? I need new tires, and my rims are pretty fucked up so Im just going to get new ones, a Rim/Tire package. I need about 300$$, and my credit card. Oye.

Why am I babeling about this.

Night.

EVERYONE! Needs to watch this, its hilarious.

Top 10 Celebrity Nip-Slips

Ryan + Alcohol = Drunken Party-ness orgi and a half.

I think, u may want to check that with a calculator.

ANywho,. beer, isgood. I want to shake the hand of the man,(it rhymes) who invented, beer. Beer is good.

I love it

Pace

Slept in, still tired.

Cracker Barrel for dinner with my Mother. Ya know, I think, I just might go back, everyone seemed to come up to me and asked what happened. After that it was DQ.

Talked to Britt, she has her phone back, so this is a good thing.

( Sooo Fuck Bordum. )